Jan 4th

Slightly off topic.

Arms no longer empty

The weekend was long and filled with an excited tension. All we wanted to do was make that phone call and begin the process of us becoming a family. Finally Tuesday arrived and we were able to ring our social worker and accept the placement. After making the call we were able to start dealing with the logistics of bringing a child into our lives with only a few days notice. We had no cot, bassinet, pram, clothes, nappies etc. You are warned and counselled against buying anything for a baby prior to placement because there is no guarantee you will be chosen to become parents.

Waiting...

Once you're accepted into the Adoption program there is no way of knowing how long you will wait to be selected as the new parents of a child or even if you will be selected.

At that time in Victoria the process from the other side of the adoption was that a birth parent can indicate their interest in relinquishing their child but could not sign any consent forms for a period of two weeks after the birth. They then had a grace period of 28 days which could be extended before final consent was given

Reconciling feelings

Throughout the process of applying for adoption I had feelings and concerns that bothered me. I worried that having open adoptions and on-going contact with the birth families would be detrimental a child. I had no issue with telling them how they became my child but the idea that you had to allow access to suit the birth parents, that you had to pretty much tell everyone involved in your life how you formed your family seemed

I'm stressing

My story was included in an anthology about adoption. I went to look for the document so I could grab parts of it for this blog. (for anyone interested it's called "Adopting" and is edited by Jane Turner Goldsmith, my story was divided into two parts and placed in different sections)

Open your hearts, and everything else for DHS

I wrote a letter. I got a reply. DHS accepted our "expression of interest" and we got to go to a "training session" where they did their best to put us off the idea of adoption. We got to hear from an adoptee who was anything but happy and content with their life. We got to hear from a Birth mother with similar angst. We heard all the bad stuff then we got to hear about the rules and regulations. You have to married for a minimum of two years, you have to be under the age of 26 as at Jan 31st in the year of application and no more than 40 at the same date if applying for a second or subsequent child.