Happy places

I was replying to a comment on this post and made a reference to when I used to pick JC up from creche. I can't recall having blogged about it so I decided I would collect some of the happiest memories I have of JC's short life and post them here. As an antidote to the sadness of his death.

The little things

I'm someone who copes. Life deals me shit, I deal with it. I don't complain a whole lot nor spend time thinking I'm hard done by. Not enough time in my life to waste doing that. That's not to say I don't whinge at times. I do, we all do but it's never been a focus for me. We all cop shitty things in life and you just have to deal with it and get on with finding what was good in amongst the crap.

I have some days that I get through without thinking of my other sons. The ones I can't hug, the ones I love as much as the one I have with me now and as much as I love my daughter. The ones I miss, the ones I wouldn't have back if it meant I would have to give back my now children.

Then there's days when one small thing will make me think of my eldest son and a smile will play across my face, or maybe some tears will fall from my eyes. It happens far less with my other son since I never got to meet him let alone form any lasting memories of time with him. My eldest son though... walking in the rain can bring back memories. Helping my now son to balance. Picking a flower. Seeing a toy that JC played with. Hearing a word he could say. Today it was remembering his laughter.

His tinkling, joyful, effervescent, infectious, amazing laughter.

I wish I could play that sound for you. There are no words that describe it as well as it deserves. It was medicine of the best sort. Guaranteed to cure all ills. Destined to put a smile on your face, a joyful spring in your walk. This time it bought a tear to my eyes and a wistful happiness to my heart that I can still hear him when I close my eyes.

I fear the day I cannot recall his face, his tiny arms wrapped around my neck, his laughter, his joy in living.

When I can no longer remember will he fade to nothingness?

Will he no longer be real?

Sunday Session

Just for Thea at Do I really want to blog? I'll do a Sunday session & link :)

This is Thea's explanation and her current Sunday session is here.

On Sundays I pop two favourite songs onto my blog.

An oldie but a goldie.

And a newbie, fresh off the charts.

Here are my picks for this week.

You can play along by linking up below.

And grab the button on the side bar if you want.

Can't wait to hear your picks.

Happy Sunday! 

So here are my choices for today.

An oldie which I love & is one of my happy songs. I have no idea 

why it is but I always feel good listening to this.

A current song which has appealed to me.

Link to Thea if you join in :) Have a fabulous Sunday either way.

Ipod shuffle

The gorgeous Bern Morley over at So now what? posted the challenge of sharing the first fifteen songs that come up when you hit shuffle. So here goes... (Bern linked videos and everything so I'll give it a shot too)

Instructions: Put your ipod or media player on Shuffle. The first fifteen songs that play must be written down, with a short explanation of what it means to you (if anything).


1)    Save the last dance - Michael Buble
       No excuses - it's mine.

2)    I've got to see you again - Norah Jones
       Haven't heard from Norah much lately. Although she's on my ipod she's not in any of my playlists.

3)    If my heart was a house - Owl City
       Bought the album for my daughter & stole several songs. I love them :)

4)    If I had you - Adam Lambert
       My daughters. I should be grateful it wasn't The Wiggles :)

5)   Red red wine - UB40
      Always loved this version of the song :)

6)   I want your sex - George Michael
      Do I need to say anything?

7)   Love of my life - Santana
      If I don't happen across 2 or 3 Santana songs, I'll be surprised :) I love Santana

8)  Thank you - Dido
     A friend sent me this one

9)  Heard it through the grapevine - Marvin Gaye
     Classic song !

10) Make love to you - Etta James
      I have loads of old songs on my ipod, not surprised this one came up lol

11) I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
      No divine intervention :)

12) Maria Maria - Santana
      Love to dance to this one...

13) Remember the Tin man - Tract Chapman
      An incredibly poignant song

14) Moondance - Van Morrison
      Not my fave song of his but one of them :)

15) Beautiful day - U2
      So many great songs by U2...

I'll keep being the bigger person

I was married for over 28 years. In that time we went on one holiday. Dunk Island for our 5th wedding anniversary. It was paid for out of some money I inherited from my grandfather. My husband organized it all. He didn't tell me what was happening, nor even hint at it. I got an invitation to join him after he had it all booked and paid for.

Hump day happiness

Wonder if I'll manage to capture a whole week of happiness :) Naomi over at Under the yardarm posts her Hump day happinessness on a Wednesday but this week she went "airline" and posted the next day, today. Since I've had a fabulous week I thought I should follow suit and link back to her.

This week's highlights have been many and varied.

1) I got a text from someone I have a serious wish to see again

2) I had a friend come over for dinner last night & we laughed together at my 12yo's teen angsty crap.

3) My beautiful boy told me a million, gazillion times that he loves me and not all were distraction techniques.

4) Playing silly games with my kids. We laughed and laughed at our silliness, it was the best !

5) I saw a friend I've not seen for almost 3 years. She had so much to fill me in on & I, her. Separation, deaths,
loves, joys, sadnesses... all had to be covered.

6) An out of the blue comment telling me I was beautiful. (Okay, taken with a grain of salt but it still makes you feel good)

7) Sunshine warm enough that I could wear short sleeves & sandals.

I'll stop there since that's a happiness for every day of my week and that's enough for me :)

What was your happiness this week?