How to have a baby in 3 weeks or less...

That last phone call from our social worker set another roller coaster in motion. As with our daughter there was the need to attend a meeting in Melbourne to learn about this child that may be ours. So a hurried day trip was arranged with no word to our daughter. There is always the chance that the match my not be made in heaven so you tell no-one what's going on until you have some surety.The trip was uneventful and we left with a small file giving us details of this baby boy and some photographs. He was 7 months old, healthy, happy and loveable according to his foster mother. He had been born with a medical issue that had been dealt with but was a major reason behind his late placement. The medical issue was one that would need monitoring for a period but after a couple of years it was anticipated that all would be well and no further issue would arise from it.

After the required 2 days "cooling off" we made the phone call. We were to be a family of four :)

I picked my daughter up from school that day having made the decision that she needed to know a brother was impending. Almost up to her 7th birthday my gorgeous curly girl came bouncing out of class that afternoon, ready & eager to enjoy some time with me. I stopped her and asked if she could sit down for a moment as I had something important to tell her. "You're going to be a sister, there's a little boy who's going to be your brother". Tears ! No joy in her smile, just tears and a small voice saying "I'd rather have a sister".

Thankfully her teacher was there and did one of the few things I have to be grateful to her for. The teacher told my girl that she would make the best big sister a brother could hope for so to not worry. It made all the difference to my girl. The tears dried up and the smile returned along with excitement about our new family member.

Once again we had to arrange all the baby gear we would require.Much of it we had still from our daughter and so there wasn't too much in terms of nursery equipment. The biggest thing was organising bedrooms, as befitted the elder child she had decided the bigger of the children's bedrooms was to be hers. This necessitated moving furniture, repainting walls, moving toys & clothes... you've done it so I'm sure you all know what a nuisance it can be, especially at this time. The social worker had the plans that A & I would come to Melbourne, spend a week or more there, familiarising ourselves with our baby, his routine etc. I asked them what they thought we were going to do with our daughter, they responded with the suggestion she should stay with someone while we were in Melbourne. Not unexpectedly, this met with a negative response from me. My thoughts were that this child was coming into a family, not becoming the first child to a couple. How could we assimilate him into our family if we were excluding one third of it from meeting him, expecting her to be without her parents for a week all the while knowing her world was about to be turned upside down? I insisted she would come to Melbourne with us and while I didn't demand she be permitted to meet him on the first day as we would, I did insist that she meet him as quickly as possible. We arranged that our daughter spend some time with her Birth-fathers mother, K. We felt that would make it a very special occasion for her, K was willing as was our daughter. And thus it was arranged... March, just after my birthday was to be "it".

The social workers had a very specific plan in place. Day one we were to meet and watch but not interact with the child who would be our son. All up there was a five day plan to integrate us into his life. Our daughter was to meet him (briefly) on day 4. We'd never met the social worker who had been assigned to us for the placement, she'd only just been employed so it was a big day with a lot of unknowns...

J was picked up by her grandmother and we headed off to the foster parents home. There was a flurry of introductions when we arrived. Our social worker, our new sons social worker, the foster parents, another social worker but most importantly, our new son...

The plan was, no contact today. We could watch, we could be there but we were not to have any physical interaction between this little boy and ourselves. I sat down at the end of the couch where R, the foster mother had sat with O. A knelt on the floor at the other side of the coffee table. We were being cautious since there were so many eyes upon us and we didn't want to upset this little boy in any way. We were strangers even if we were now to be his parents. We sat chatting for a while, O happily playing with various toys and flirting with the extra people in the room. After a little while R put him on the couch next to her since he was getting fussy about being held. Next thing I know, O has rolled over and put himself right next to me. Reaching out for me... I looked at the social workers and none were showing major concern that I was in proximity to O so I did nothing but chat to him. A few minutes later R suggested I should pick him up, again, no apparent issue from the social workers. R then got a bottle for O, handed it to me and said that since he seemed so happy where he was, would I like to feed him. Was I going to say no? Never! O greedily drank his bottle and promptly fell asleep in my arms.